John’s Approach to Therapy
In our sessions early on, you can expect that I will do a lot more listening and asking questions than talking. When I do offer something, it’s very specific. And that’s the difference between reading a self help book and seeing a therapist. In therapy, you can expect specialized answers that aren’t generic.
My main specialties in counseling are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Interpersonal Theory. While we may only just get to touch on some of these areas in your first session, here is an idea of how we could frame some of the things that that we talk about in your future sessions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT
CBT is the study of the interconnectivity between thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Thoughts, behaviors and emotions can be thought of as points on a triangle. They all influence each other. The CBT triangle illustrates this relationship.
Usually when you get started in therapy the main question is, “How do I start feeling better?” Emotions are the things that you really want to change but it’s the one thing that you can’t directly change.
However, behaviors and thoughts, you can directly change. So you work on making changes to these two and in effect, your emotions can be changed indirectly.
So with CBT, we focus on the other two points of the triangle, behaviors and thoughts.
The place to begin with thoughts is to look at a list of cognitive distortions. Examples include:
- all or nothing thinking
- jumping to conclusions
- overgeneralization
- and more
Thinking about behaviors, some of the first things to ask yourself are:
- How is your sleep?
- Have you been eating well?
- Are you giving yourself the exercise that you need?
CBT generally, is a more fast-acting counseling because it provides coping skills that you can use immediately throughout the day. CBT has its focus in the present and tools you can use in the present more so than talking about the past. However, as a helpful way to way to discover how thoughts and behavior habits may have come about, it is sometimes helpful to think about the past, as well.
Interpersonal Theory
The best way to explain Interpersonal Theory is to think of a circle that has four sections or quadrants.
On the left side is “Hostile” and on the right side is “Friendly”. On top is “Dominant” and on the bottom is “Passive”. So if you think of the circle in its quadrants, you then have “Friendly Dominant”, “Friendly Passive”, “Hostile Dominant” and “Hostile Passive”.
These are all ways that people can choose to communicate. In other words, Interpersonal Theory is a focus on our communication styles.
On the “Friendly” side, they complement each other. So, if you act in a “Friendly Dominant” manor, you are most likely going to draw a friendly response. For example, if you say something like, “Do you want to go to a movie?”, someone in response, might say, “Yeah”.
While on the “Hostile” side, you get what you give. So if you have “Hostile Dominant”, which is like an expression of aggression, then you’re going to draw aggression in return. For example, if you shout at someone and call them a name, then you can expect the same in return.
If you act in a “Hostile Passive” way, commonly referred to as passive aggressive, then you are going to get passive aggression in return. For example, if you leave a nasty note for someone, they’re likely to do something in return that is indirectly aggressive.
So in Interpersonal Theory we practice tailoring our communication style in ways that give us the results that we are looking for. The method in which we communicate can be more important than the content of what we are saying. Interpersonal Theory can also be very helpful for experimenting with new communication styles, such as being more assertive.
Do you want to read more about me? Check out my About Me page.
Ready to reach out?
If you have more questions or want to schedule an appointment, message me.
Let’s talk more about how I can help.